By Tim Wholf

With the recent loss of actor Gene Hackman and his wife, Betsy Arakawa, a spotlight has been placed on the role of caregiving.

Arakawa was the primary caregiver for her husband, particularly during the latter part of his life as he struggled with Alzheimer’s and heart disease. Reports have described Arakawa as being very protective of Hackman, noting that she was dedicated to his care and well-being.

She would do whatever she could to help keep him healthy, whether it meant wearing a mask everywhere she went or encouraging him to stay fit by riding his bike or doing yoga on Zoom. As his Alzheimer’s disease presented increasing challenges, so did the need for his wife’s caregiving role.

As caregivers, it is easy to focus on the individual being cared for and to fail to take care of oneself. It is also hard to ask for help. Some caregivers want to protect their loved one’s privacy; some fear the judgment of others; some don’t want strangers in their home; and some don’t have the financial means to hire professional help.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than 53 million unpaid caregivers provide support to friends and loved ones who are older or have chronic conditions or disabilities; estimated to be more than $660 billion annually.

Caregiving can be incredibly demanding and challenging, often leading to emotional, physical and financial strain for caregivers who dedicate their time and energy to supporting loved ones. Many caregivers feel they lack adequate support from family, friends or professional services, which can exacerbate their stress and isolation.

Emma Heming Willis, wife of actor Bruce Willis, has been speaking out about the importance of caring for caregivers following the deaths of Hackman and Arakawa.

In a recent Instagram post, Heming Willis captioned her message, writing, “Caregivers need care too. Period. Full stop.” She also included the hashtag #supportcaregivers.

In her video, she stated, “It just made me think of this broader story, and that is that caregivers need care, too. And that they are vital, and that it is so important that we show up for them so that they can continue to show up for their person.”

The reality is that caregiving, especially for someone with a serious illness, requires a village. Without taking the time to build that support system, to seek respite and to ask for help, the stress can eventually take its toll.

This village can include family, friends, volunteers, neighbors, the church community or paid caregivers. The key point is that regardless of how deeply they care for the person they are caring for, caregivers need support.

No one should feel they have to do this alone, no matter how deeply they care for the person they are looking after. When caregivers burn out, when their bodies and minds reach their limits, it often happens at the most inopportune time.

The Johnson County Area Agency on Aging had its first Caregiver Support Group on Feb. 21, 2025, in honor of National Caregiving Day. Plans are already underway for the next meeting, scheduled for Thursday, May 1, 2025, at the Northeast Office Building, 6000 Lamar, Room 500, Mission. All caregivers are welcome to attend.

For more information, visit jocogov.org/agingservices or follow Johnson County Aging and Human Services on Facebook.

Tim Wholf is director of the Johnson County Department of Aging and Human Services.